I still can't believe that my grandpa from my mother side has passed away 4 days ago. I'm so sad because the last thing I did to him was only kissed his hands and I didn't talk with him at all when he was in my house with grandma last month. I was also annoyed at him when he was worrying myself too much when I got diarrhea and talked to much about something that I didn't understand at all.
I'm so blaming myself right now. I haven't apologized to him before he died and now the only feeling that left is disappointment. I should've behaved to my grandparents, not getting annoyed by them. After all, they contributed all they have for their grandchildren too. They helped my parents taking care of me when I was a little girl. I had no one but them when my parents left me in Magetan alone. I remembered the day when I messed up grandma's cake and she yelled at me. My grandpa yelled back at her and told her not to blame me too much because I was just a kid and still learned something that led by my curiosity.
He was so kind. He told me everything about the whole family. I don't remember much but I'm happy that I had him in my life. He was so proud of me when I went to South Korea with Garuda UNY Racing Team in 2013. When I was back to Magetan, he teased me to speak Korean to him but he answered me by speaking Japanese. LOL. Grandpa's humor isn't that good but when I remembered all the things about him, all of them are good. Nothing's bad on him. He worked hard to arrange the garden and planted so many plants even in my garden. He was a great story teller just like my grandma from my father side. He told me about the story when PKI (Partai Komunis Indonesia) killed his father aka my great-grandfather. My grandpa from my father side also someone who's hated by PKI too at that time but PKI didn't kill him. After found out about that, I feel so proud of my family that against the communist and stand for my country. I'm glad that my grandpa told me about the past. Now after thinking about his story again and get a little lost, I can't ask him anymore. Someday I'll meet him and ask him about the story and hopefully can meet the whole family in heaven.
Akung, everything is alright now. You can rest in peace after doing what's right for you and your family. Akung, I love you with all my heart. I'm so sorry that you I haven't done something that make you more proud and haven't graduated yet. I will work harder for you, mom, and dad. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Akung, see you again in heaven. Please recognize my face when I call you there. I love you, Akung... I love you...