How to Maintain Friendship as Adults

April is coming to an end in this hectic 2017. It was amazing yet pain in the ass somehow. Doesn't mean to be a grumble here but it is. So many great experiences but there was a pretty unlucky "accident" that happened this month.

I got in a huge fight with my friend. After 11 years, I don't think that it was what I hope to happen. I lost my words for what happened this week. Yes, it was this week and it lasted for about 3 days but it was exhausting enough from me. I never went on a cold fight with my friends for that long. I have this "finish-this-fight-ASAP" rule. So of course I hate this kind of cold fight, especially when I got "silence move" from my friend.

But I guess we're good now. Though I don't know... It's kind of awkward now because I haven't got any chance to talk more about it with her. So awkward that I feel estrange these days. 

Wait, the title is about maintaining the friendship. I feel like this isn't right to explain about my friendship problem. LOL. But it's related, guys... I learn something from this friendship problem that got me in a pretty awkward position this week.

1. You gotta make time, whenever it will be

If you want to maintain your friendship, or any other relationship to be a long term, you gotta make time no matter how busy you are. Just plan to make a quick meeting between your tight schedule.

In case you're the one who have more spare time, just plan to have a meal (breakfast/lunch/dinner) near your friend's office or something. It will be so special to make time in between.

2. When you already plan a meetup, don't just cancel it

This is the thing that got me in a cold fight with one of my friends this week. I never did this before. But knowing that my friend DID this, I started to feel like "oh, so it's maybe OKAY to cancel it"

Turns out, she hates the thing that she did. But I don't want to blame her back. I will just leave that kind of childish blaming-each-other thing behind and focus on fixing mine. Lesson learned.

3. If you feel something more important comes up, discuss it together

A business meeting or a family reunion can be more important than meeting up with your friends. It can be really bothering, especially if it's gonna happen at the exact same time.

If it happened to you, back to point 2 and don't forget to discuss it with your friends. If they feel okay, you won't have to feel sacrificing anything later. Remember that you have to be honest towards each other.

4. Misunderstanding? Solve it ASAP!

When you got into a problem with ANYONE, it probably just because you slipped. You slipped through words, through feeling, or through act. It's hard to face but it doesn't mean that you can't solve it.

If you're not ready to talk about it, give it time to think about it. If it's just a misunderstanding, don't be one sided. You have to be balance if you want to make this friendship thing to be long lasting.

5. Be honest and stick with them for a better friendship

After all those problems you faced, the last thing you have to do to make it long last is be honest and sticking around no matter how hard it is. Honesty is the key of everything.

But this point can be optional if you don't want to "STICK with them" anymore because you "SICK with them".

As long as your friendship makes the best of you, don't leave. When it makes the worst of you, you'd better keep searching for anyone better. It's all up to you. Just make sure that your friendship isn't bad thing that you think it's good. In other word, it's already a trap you think that way.

Alright guys, I hope this short pep talk about friendship can help you maintaining friendship or any other kind of relationship. Don't forget that the communication is the key. Don't stop loving your friend just because they make mistakes. Talk about it and forgive them for what happened.

See you on the next post!

Post a Comment


Unknown said…
These are such great points. I definitely need to take them onboard as I'm getting older. Abi |
Unknown said…
It’s so hard to maintain relationships when you’re an adult since there is so much more going on! Thanks for the tips!
Nyxie Rose said…
What a lovely post. Sadly for me most of my "friends" are the type who only want you if the need something. I try to be there for them unconditionally and it's exhausting. It's a shame not everyone knows these points!

Nyxie |
These are great tips, it's so hard to stay friends as adults and too often we let life get in the way x
Unknown said…
"You gotta make time, whenever it will be"......... that is very true , as we get older - we tend to get very busy, sometimes we forget to spend time with friends and even family at that but, planning is the best way to go. And you're not alone - my best friend and I we fight like sisters because we're sisters(not blood) but we remind ourselves how important we are to each other . And I think if you keep doing the same - probably wouldn't be awkward lol . But I know the feeling ...

Much love,
Hanifa said…
You should. Good luck for you ;)
Hanifa said…
Yes it's hard but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. Good luck! ;)
Hanifa said…
I hope you're gonna find the friends that will be there for you no matter what. Keep on searching ;)
Hanifa said…
Thank you so much. I hope it can help you maintaining your friendship no matter how hard it is.
Hanifa said…
I feel the same way about my friend too. I don't have any sibling, so she's like a sister to me. Thank you for understanding this feeling. It feels uncomfortable at first but I think it'll be better later :')
Nisrina said…
As we grow older, the inner circle seems more narrow. But then, the quality of the friendship should be better.

Susah-susah gampang ya memang menjaga pertemanan di usia 20-something :')
Hanifa said…
Ah, I like what you say there. It's true. It really is and it should be.

Memang sangat sangat sangat tricky. Waktu sekolah atau kuliah, kita ketemu hampir setiap hari. Saat udah dewasa, ngejalanin hidup sendiri-sendiri, harus makin pinter ngatur waktunya.
Ratri Anugrah said…
Oh I wish these tips are easy to do. The thing is I'm the one who never have times to meet. Now she's far away and I regret everything I could have done with her. But I'm too shy to admit that I miss her and I want us to be like the old times. What should I do?
Hanifa said…
You should press the ego that block you to admit that you miss her. Just tell her. Maybe say sorry for not sending her your greeting fo a while. Then if it's good enough to continue the conversation, go ask what she does now. That'll be good enough for maintaining your friendship. Good luck :*
Inklocita said…
True. Sometime you do want to meet them but you're just to lazy or even to proud to be the one who suggest first. haha. First world problem indeed
Hanifa said…
That's true... But when you do really want to maintain your friendship, you need to make efforts :')
Acipa said…
Seseorang pernah bilang, semakin bertambah usia, pertemanan akan decrease in size, but increase in quality. Well, mungkin bisa dikatakan iya, sebab setiap orang punya their own life yang juga harus diurusi, tapi kalau nggak punya keduanya, gimana tuh kak?
Hanifa said…
Keduanya.... Yang mana aja nih maksudnya?